A relationship may feel serious, yet the future can tell a very different story. In situations where your partner appreciates your presence but continuously avoids discussing anything related to commitment and the future of the relationship, you may begin to question where you stand with him/her.
The concept of a “placeholder partner” will become apparent at that point. It refers to a situation where one person gives company and comfort to another who may not actually plan on staying in the relationship for the long run.
What is a placeholder partner?
Placeholder partner refers to a temporary romance choice and not an enduring one. The relationship might be quite serious, yet one partner does not take efforts to invest emotions in order to build a future together.
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The term “placeholder partner” is widely used on social media and defines relationships where one person appreciates the company but secretly treats the relationship as temporary and not a permanent one.
Indicators of being a placeholder partner
One of the potential signs is frequent communication with mixed messages. Your partner may occasionally speak of the relationship with seriousness, yet becomes distant and avoids the conversation about the future.
Lack of discussion about future may serve as another indicator. If the discussions of marriage, cohabitation and having kids do not become more detailed with time, it is hard to say whether these plans are real.
Finally, promises that are not accompanied with any actions should not be considered seriously. There are people who promise a future together yet make no moves towards it, leaving the other partner emotionally invested.
Why do people stay in temporary relationships?
Every relationship that fails is not necessarily a placeholder relationship. Some people end up in a relationship due to loneliness, after experiencing heartbreak or being uncomfortable with being alone.
Some relationships can also help people heal, learn and grow, even when they do not ultimately become permanent. The key issue is whether both people understand what they want from the relationship.
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When is it time to move on?
The relationship will be healthy if there is honesty, efforts by both individuals and common goals. However, if an individual continues putting off making commitments, avoids discussions about the future or makes empty promises, then it might be good to consider if the relationship is living up to each individual’s needs.
When two people have entirely different needs, it might be better if each individual moves ahead independently.